Take Two with Phineas and Ferb: The Lost Segments
by ratluck2
Summary: Phineas and Ferb Decide to have some...differant guests on their show. What happens? Rated T for safety. Ch.1 Brian Kendrick, Ch.2 Charlie Sheen. Ch.3 Chuck Norris, Ch.4 Billie Joel Armstrong. Ch.5 Special Quad Guest Episode.
1. Brian Kendrick 1

**Take Two with Phineas and Ferb: Brian Kendrick**

**Author's Notes: Hey, Ratluck here. I'm short on time, so I decided I'd do a series of Take Twos with Phineas and Ferb for certain people. I will be continuing Conspiracy immediately after I write this one. Thanks and enjoy.**

**/**

_I know what we're gonna do_

_Join us for the interview_

_Have a seat 'cause it's Take Two_

_with Phineas and Ferb!_

**Candace:** Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a talk show!

**Isabella: **Please welcome, Brian Kendrick.

**Some Audience members clap, while the rest wonder who Brian Kendrick is.**

**Brian: **Thank you, thank you. I appreciate you all.

**Phineas: **Its great to have you here Mr. Kendrick.

**Brian: **Please, don't call me that.

**Phineas: **Alright, Brian...

**Brian: **Don't call me that either.

**Phineas: **Then what do we call you?

**Brian: **Call me "The Brian Kendrick"**.**

**Phineas:**O...k... Anyway, You've recently been on "The Price is Right", how was that experience for you?

**Brian: **Well, young Phineas. There is more to life then material objects. Things like self enlighten-meant, love, and intellect are more important.

**Ferb:** You're just saying that because you lost, aren't you?

**Brian:** Yes,yes I am. But honestly, those are my beliefs. {Mumbles} However, winning would have been great too.

**Phineas: **Yea. You've also had a difficult life. Mind elaborating on your childhood, and what you would change if you could?

**Brian:** Well Phineas, I'm really glad you asked that. I believe my life has served a purpose. My father was a paranoid schizophrenic and my mother was a genius, but if they weren't, I would not be able to serve my purpose. I believe my purpose here is to win the X-Division Championship, a championship that has no age discrimination, no weight or sex discrimination, a championship for the truly courageous.

**Phineas: **If there is no age discrimination, then how would you like to defend against me on a future show?

**Brian: **Your on, young triangle-shaped grasshopper!

**Phineas: **Awesome, but for the viewers out there that don't know you, how would you explain your occupation?

**Brian: **I am a competitor. I am a fighter. I am a wrestler. I am a philosopher. I am a TNA superstar. I am The Brian Kendrick.

Just then, Albert and Irving burst onto the set.

**Irving: **Th...Th...THE BRIAN KENDRICK? OMG OMG! Can I have an autograph?

**Albert: **Irving, I'm here for more important matters. I am here to expose this fake for the fake that is fakely is...fake.

**Brian:** You're challenging me?

**Albert: **Yes, Yes I am. And I'll destroy you in a heartbeat!

A wrestling ring appears suddenly, and Ferb rips off his classic clothes and reveals a referee shirt. Kendrick and Albert stand in the center of the ring. Kendrick extends his hand for a handshake, but Albert slaps it away.

**Irving:** I don't think you should have done that...

Ferb rings the bell, and Brian locks up in a standard wrestling lock with Albert. Albert disrespectfully slaps Brian in the face.

**Irving: **Albert, you should be careful...

**Albert: **Irving, I told you...

As Albert was saying the last line, Kendrick sneaks up behind him, puts him in a military-like sleeper hold, and Albert taps out in seconds. Ferb holds Brian's hand up in victory.

**Phineas: **Well, that's all we had time for. Thanks for your time, Mr...I mean, The Brian Kendrick.

**Brian: **Thanks for having me, and if you find any rubbers backstage, please return them to me at...

**Curtain Closes.**


	2. Charlie Sheen 1

_I know what we're gonna do_

_Join us for the interview_

_Have a seat 'cause it's Take Two_

_with Phineas and Ferb!_

**Candace:** Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a talk show!

**Isabella: **Please welcome, Two and a Half men star, Charlie Sheen!

**Some audience members clap, the rest boo.**

**Charlie: **Ah, Go screw off.

**Phineas:** Nice to have you here with us on take two.

**Charlie:** Wait, take two? I thought this was my bathroom.

**Ferb:** You have people in your bathroom?

**Charlie: **I've got tiger blood.

**Phineas:** So, I hear that you have two loves? I thought love was a sacred bond between two people, not three.

**Charlie: **Phineas, words of advice. Most normal men, like Superman and David Aquette can only have one love. But people like you, me, and Ferb here are gods. We can have as many as we want!.

**Phineas:** Um...That's OK. I think I'll stick to one love. But how would you explain your recent actions? And what would you say to any fans out there.

**Charlie: **Well, First of all, I'm doing something you will never be able to do...BE A MAN! It takes guts and a willingness to be an jerk to make it in this business. And as for the second question, if you are hot, male or female, I'll let you join my Harlem.

Suddenly, Candace rushes in and jumps on Charlie's lap.

**Candace: **Take me!

**Charlie:** You eight-teen?

**Candace:** Nope.

**Charlie: **You aren't hot enough.

**Phineas: **You are a jerk, Mr. Sheen.

**Charlie: **I'm on a drug called Charlie Sheen, and if you take it more then once you will die! Winning! Tiger Blood...

Ferb knocks him unconscious with his nerve pinch, and carries him off stage.

**Phineas:** Thanks for joining us for the show. Remember, if anyone compares you to Charlie Sheen, seek help immediately.

**Close Curtain.**


	3. Chuck Norris 1

_I know what we're gonna do_

_Join us for the interview_

_Have a seat 'cause it's Take Two_

_with Phineas and Ferb!_

**Candace:** Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a talk show!

I**sabella: **Please welcome-Chuck Norris!

**Audience erupts into applause.**

**Chuck: **Woo!

**Phineas**: It's great having you on Take Two, Mr. Norris.

**Chuck:** Naturally.

**Phineas: **So, Chuck, you've been in a lot of movies. What's your favorite mo-

Phineas is round-house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris. Chuck stands up and walks out.

**Curtains Close.**

Credit to Gurgy and TurboTony00 for helping me write this master piece!


	4. Billie Joel Armstrong

**/**

_I know what we're gonna do_

_Join us for the interview_

_Have a seat 'cause it's Take Two_

_with Phineas and Ferb!_

**Candace:** Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a talk show!

**Isabella:** Please welcome, Billie Joel Armstrong!

**Audience claps and applauds wildly.**

**Billie: **Cool, thanks guys.

**Phineas:** Great to have you with us here today.

**Billie: **My pleasure.

**Phineas:** First question. You've had a lot of success with your music career. What's it like being larger then life?

**Billie: **Well, I don't really act like I am "Larger then life." I'm just me, playing my guitar and playing music that people can relate to.

**Suddenly, Candace comes on stage and jumps on Billie.**

**Candace: **MARRY ME!

**Jeremy comes and pulls her off stage, lecturing her about commitment and what not. Isabella appears on stage and approaches Billie.**

**Isabella: **Would you mind doing something for me? {Hand Billie a guitar and a note}

**Billie :{** Reads the note, smiles, and nods his head} Yes, Yes I can.

**Phineas: **Isabella?

**Billie steps up to center stage with a mic and his guitar. Begins to strum.**

Another turning point;  
>A fork stuck in the road.<p>

Time grabs you by the wrist;  
>Directs you where to go.<p>

So make the best of this task and don't ask why.  
>It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.<p>

It's something unpredictable  
>But in the end it's right.<br>I hope you had the time of your life.  
><strong>Phineas subconsciously grabs Isabella's hand, not realizing it.<strong>  
>So take the photographs<br>And still frames in your mind.  
>[ Lyrics from: .comlyrics/g/green_day/time_of_your_ ]  
>Hang it on a shelf<br>In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories  
>And dead skin on trial.<p>

For what it's worth,  
>It was worth all the while.<br>**Isabella notices, and begins to blush.**  
>It's something unpredictable<br>But in the end it's right.  
>I hope you had the time of your life.<p>

(Music break)  
><strong>During the inspirational music break, Phineas decides to lean over and slowly kiss Isabella. This kiss is maintained through the rest of the song.<strong>  
>So make the best of this task and don't ask why.<br>It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable  
>But in the end it's right.<br>I hope you had the time of your life.

**Ferb: Well, A happy ending to a happy story. Thanks Billie.**

**Billie: Anytime. **

**Curtain Closes as Billie ends waving, Isabella and Phineas still in a deep kiss, and Ferb smiling widely. **

**Ferb: I know they had the time of their lives.**


	5. Special Quad Episode

**Take Two with Phineas and Ferb: Special Quad Guest Episode.**

**Author's Notes: Hey, Ratluck here. I'm short on time, so I decided I'd do a series of Take Twos with Phineas and Ferb for certain people. I will be continuing Conspiracy immediately after I write this one. Thanks and enjoy.**

**/**

_I know what we're gonna do_

_Join us for the interview_

_Have a seat 'cause it's Take Two_

_with Phineas and Ferb!_

**Candace:** Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a talk show!

**Isabella: **Please welcome back, your new X-Division Champion, Brian Kendrick, Charlie Sheen, Chuck Norris, and Billie Joel Armstrong.!

**Crowd cheers as they all come on stage. Boos are evident for Charlie and Chuck, but they good somewhat good reactions anyway.**

**Phineas: **Welcome back, guys.

**Brian: **I promised you a title match, and I'm a man of my word.

**Charlie:** Who are you?

**Chuck:** Thanks for letting me come back.

**Billie: **Likewise.

**Phineas:** And I'd like to say thanks to the greatest person on the face of this earth, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, for being such an amazing manager.

**Isabella: **{Blushes} Ah….

**Chuck: **Hey, I'm the greatest person on earth!

**Charlie: **No, I am!

**Chuck and Charlie begin to tussle and Ferb shoots them both with elephant tranquilizers. Isabella drags them off stage.**

**Phineas: **So Brian, you have any thoughts on you winning that? {Points to championship belt}

**Brian: **It's an incredible honor, and I feel like my new purpose in life is to win the big one. By the way, thanks for sending me back my rubbers. I appreciate…

**Billie: **New Subject, please!

**Phineas: **Alright, Billie, you have recently been writing arrangements for the "American Idiot" Broadway play. What's that been like?

**Billie: **Well, It has been a unique experience. I've been having fun with the cast, and it's been so successful that we're releasing a CD of it, featuring me on guitar, Pick it up if it interests you.

**Phineas: **That's great. And now to Brian, you said you had a proposition?

**Brian: **In fact I do. I would like to defend this X-Division championship against all of you. We have a ring built here, do we not?

**Phineas:** Alright, I guess we are going to have an impromptu Championship match. Phineas Flynn vs Brian Kendrick vs Ferb Fletcher vs Billie Joel Armstrong vs….

**Albert:** Me! I want a match. {Jumps in wrestling ring} Ring the freaking bell!

**/**

**Isabella: Your winner and NEW X-Division champion….Albert Hawkins!**

**Brian: **Congrats, Albert. Now as new X-Division cha…..{Snatches belt and runs off-stage.}

**Albert: **Hey, get back here! {Chases after Brian}

**Candace enters the stage with the unconscious Chuck Norris and Charlie Sheen. Her face is beet red, and Chuck and Sheen are naked. **

**Candace: **Hey dweebs, is Brian still here? We need some rubbers for next tim… {Notices Jeremy in the crowd} Never mind….

**Ferb: {Quickly} **And that's all we have time for today….{sighs} we are totally going to get fired…..

**Phineas and Isabella begin to make out, while Jeremy and Candace end up yelling at each other. Albert chases Brian around while Brian is throwing condoms filled with red kool-aid around at audience members and Albert. Billie strums his electric and begins to sing his version of the theme song, while Charlie Sheen and Chuck Norris unintentionally begin making out with each other while knocked out. Ferb sighs as he walks off stage.**

**END.**


End file.
